Just a blog...

I decided that I am just going to blog. Some may read or some may not but I don't care. I feel like ever since Addie died I am trying to find different things to blog about. Last night I finally came to the conclusion that why should I? She is what I think about constantly, she is who I am now. So I guess anyone who reads this will have to bear with me and read about Addie.

It's true that our lives our so busy right now. It is only Wednesday, but by the end of the day Josh will have already worked 30 hours. I often wonder if we are busy for a reason, perhaps maybe to keep me distracted from my continuous thoughts of my daughter? I still know it was her time to go but knowing that doesnt make it any easier to liver without her. Did you know it has been 3 months since we buried her? 3 months!! That is a 1/4 of a year. I have already survived 25% of this "first year" amazing and ridiculous all at the same time. Three months ago I was still pregnant, Josh was still just a lowly worker, and I still had my gall bladder. That is just the tip of the list, I am sure it could go on and on.

I decided that I want to establish a fund or foundation of sorts in honor of Addie. I will call it the Adalyn Grace Foundation. I have no idea how I would go about doing this but I know I want to do it. The main purpose for this foundation would be to provide for other grieving parents of stillborns or early infant death. I know every time I go visit her grave I see all the other babies there that have little sticks for markers, seeing Addie's little plaque is hard but I know she will get her headstone in a month or so. We had so much help from our families that made it possible to have a beautiful graveside service and proper burial. I want that for the other people out there who don't have such a strong support system. So all in all I want a resource available to those families to be able to get headstones instead of markers, to be able to have beautiful burial clothes, and pretty little caskets with sprays on them. Each baby that is laid to rest in that cemetary is so special and they deserve to have the best.

I guess those are my thoughts, and I know that right now we are not in the place to be starting a fund for that but it is definitely in my ten year plan! (And yes I really have a ten year plan)